Glenn Maxwell: "Inside my mind, I was in a self-destruction mode"

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Glenn Maxwell: "Inside my mind, I was in a self-destruction mode"

In a recent interview with cricbuzz, Glen Maxwell spoke openly about his struggle with mental illness "I probably noticed it around September last year. When I finally came out in November so I probably held on to it for too long with that following me around.

It wore me down and I forgot who I was as a person. I felt like a cardboard cut out of a cricketer who got put on a plane, on a bus, at a cricket ground and I just had to put on a smile and pretend everything was okay," he said, as quoted by cricbuzz "Inside my mind, I was in a self-destruction mode.

When I put my hand up and said everything was imploding in my mind, they were so good to allow me that time away from the game. Aaron Finch, Peter Handscomb, Marcus Stoinis - I am close to these guys and we speak about this.

You have to have a friendship and people who you can trust where you know they are going to have your best interest in their heart all the time. He was most affected by defeats in important matches as well as his mother's reaction after the defeat in the semifinals.

"As a cricketer, I've always put on a mask. I am going to put on a smile and I am going to be energetic. I am not that kind of person. I am very laid back and relaxed. I like to be quiet and alone in my spare time. Putting a mask on can weigh you down.

It was hard. There was one period when I let myself go a little bit. I saw my mother cry when we lost the World Cup semifinal and when I saw that, I lost it. That was one time when I let myself go a bit but there was a long time when I was very emotionless.

It's just a strange place to be in. Nothing really makes sense. "It felt like I was letting my team down and walking away. It was important to have these people around you who have your best interest in their mind."

Glen Maxwell felt the pressure

A major problem faced by athletes is the pressure that can lead to failure "There was so much backlash. Whenever I failed, and if we lost, it was always my fault. The things I did the previous months got washed off every time I failed or didn't quite score at a strike rate that everyone wanted me to score at.

There was a fair bit of pressure on me after that World Cup," he said. "I thought I am going to strike a180 and average 65 for the rest of my career - which is pretty unlikely. I put an unnecessary amount of pressure on myself but it was from the public side as well. They, sort of, an inflated opinion of how I should be playing the game and that probably came from that World Cup.